And now I'd like to talk about computers for a bit
I happened across PC World’s Best 10 All-Purpose Laptops, and I have to say, this is truly asinine. Its asininity is multi-tiered. Let’s start macro, and then we’ll break it out down, FJM-style. My very first question, before I even start reading the article, is, “How many laptops aren’t all-purpose?” Are there laptops specifically designed to create spreadsheets, or perhaps some Minesweeper-optimized models with dedicated buttons for flags, mines, and question marks?
But that’s fine. Maybe the point of the article is to identify the best 10 all-around laptops or something. I will concede that some laptops, while technically capable of everything, are not practically suited for certain tasks. For example, I would not recommend the Dell XPS M1730 World of Warcraft Edition to traveling businessmen, or, y’know, aspiring non-virgins. Either way, the article is bound to have some criteria for identifying its best 10 laptops right? You can’t just make a list of laptops and call it the best 10 of anything right? It’s probably included in the very first lines of the article:
1) Acer Aspire 5920-6954 Laptop
Nope. They’re going to be launching right into this thing. That’s fine. We’ll have to assume some basic criteria then. Well, since we’re dealing with laptops, battery life and weight are going to be primary concerns. Because people carry laptops. Regarding general computer features, the most important are probably storage, processor performance, and bundled software. Then there are the little things like connectivity options, expandability, value-add features, and design. So, how about that Acer Aspire?
Except for business applications, which it lacks
Wait a minute. They’re ranking the best 10 all-purpose laptops, and #1 on the list doesn’t have business applications? Aren’t business guys the guys that do most of the computer buying? Don’t they make things called “business laptops” or “laptops for business?” Does this mean Acer, as a business, cannot use its own laptops? And what are the business applications that it lacks? Microsoft Office? LotusNotes? Does it lack them pre-installed, or does it lack the capability to run them? We’re seven words into this and we’ve already got more questions than answers.
the Acer Aspire 5920 Vista Home Premium laptop has just about everything home-office buyers could ask for in a solid budget laptop
…except business applications
The terrific keyboard boasts loads of shortcut buttons that do everything but take out the trash.
Alright now we’ve got something to work with. It’s got a terrific keyboard! What makes it so terrific? Well we don’t know, because PC World only tells us what the keyboard isn’t capable of doing–taking out the trash. Turns out, that terrific keyboard has media control buttons and one-button application launching abilities. Alright, that’s pretty handy, but what about those basic criteria we talked about for laptops? It weights a beefy 7.3lbs and gets about 3.8 hours of battery life. That’s a pretty heavy laptop, and while the battery life is respectable, I know I can get about 4.5 to 6 hours on my MacBook. It even has a keyboard shortcut for emptying the trash! I wonder what the next computer will be. I hope it has business applications.
2) Lenovo IdeaPad Y510
Lenovo’s IdeaPad Y510 vaults into the upper reaches of our most recent all-purpose laptops chart, largely on the strength of its design smarts…the Lenovo IdeaPad matched the Acer Aspire 5920-6954 almost step-for-step, yet the Lenovo costs $100 less
Alright! This computer performs as well as the Acer Aspire, but costs less. Sounds good to me. Also, it’s a Lenovo, which means it definitely has business applications. Clearly, this is a list where #1 is really #10. The IdeaPad is a pretty good computer. It’s got a webcam, and “a responsive keyboard that doesn’t bow to fingertip pressure.” It’s also got thick hinges that contribute to its alluring “design smarts.” You know, most people tend to credit Apple with having the best industrial design in the industry. And they include webcams on all their thick-hinged laptops. And if you want design smarts, look no further than the MacBook’s MagSafe power connector. That thing is like the Mayor of Design Smarts City. If the IdeaPad is on the list, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say the MacBook will show up a little later.
3) HP Pavilion dv2660se Laptop
The HP Pavilion dv2660se offers strictly budget performance, but its battery life, great design, and low price make it a winner. The six-pound HP Pavilion’s high-capacity 12-cell battery endured for a whopping 6.3 hours on one charge in our tests.
This sounds like a winner. It has a great battery life and comes with good capacity for a laptop (250GB). Except, PC World’s actual review of the laptop says that the graphics of the computer are not suitable for gaming. And that great battery life?
The way the big battery protrudes from the bottom of the notebook does not make the dv2660se the most briefcase- or backpack-friendly model
So briefcase-toting businesspeople should not own this laptop. Or backpack-toting student types. BUT… it has multi-media features like touch-sensitive media controls and two headphone ports. (Headphone splitters are available at your local anywhere for $3). I am not getting a very “all-purpose” feeling from this laptop.
4) Dell Inspiron 1525
you can customize it down to the smallest detail–even lid color–before buying it online
That’s cheating. You can’t pick a highly customizable computer and call it all-purpose, because you’re really picking a multitude of computers based on the permutations and combinations of available options. And how is lid color used to argue multi-purposeness? That’s like saying that red pillows do a better job relieving neck pain.
The 1525 is wedge-shaped but svelte at 6 pounds, including a 15.4-inch 1280 by 800 resolution screen, a DVD writer, and a good keyboard
A svelte 6 pounds? Is that anything like my 27″ big screen TV? And as far as that 15.4″ 1280 x 800 screen–my 13.3″ MacBook (which weighs a “svelte” 5 pounds) has a 1280 x 800 screen too. And 13.3 is less than 15.4. It’s smaller and lighter and has the same screen resolution–pretty handy. I’ll bet it’s next on the list.
the 1525 gives multimedia lovers lots of entertainment features: an instant-on button, a Webcam, and even dual headphone jacks
Seriously, what’s with the dual headphone jacks? Because a computer opts to build-in a feature that can easily be replicated for $3, it’s all-purpose? If I designed and built a laptop with a built-in penlight, I think I could make PC World’s list of the best 10 all-purpose laptops.
5) Lenovo ThinkPad R61 Laptop
The R61′s 3-hour, 19-minute tested battery life is good.
Now I’m getting annoyed. We have our first repeat manufacturer, Lenovo, and this time it’s the more business-oriented ThinkPad. And about that 3-hour, 19-minute battery? Not good. That’s actually the worst battery life of any computer mentioned on the list so far. And it’s over an hour less than the “official” 4.5 hour battery life of the MacBook. I guess they’re just building up the list to the obvious conclusion.
6) Fujitsu LifeBook A6120 Laptop
The A6120 comes with most of the features you’d expect from a well-rounded machine–except good battery life…2 hours, 36 minutes
Okay, so battery life has nothing to do with the purposefulness of a laptop. I could have sworn that the whole concept of a laptop was its portability. That is achieved through two things: light weight and battery operation. Would you buy a cell phone that shoots video, automatically does criminal background checks on your contact list, and manipulates your voice to sound like the celebrity of your choice if it only got service for 30 minutes at a time at altitudes of 4,000 feet and above? If you said “yes,” you’re probably in the target demographic to own the A6120. But, to be fair, it does have USB and FireWire ports, and video out. That separates it from the pack.
The criteria for “all-purpose” laptop are really deteriorating. Let’s take a moment to review what’s been important to PC World:
- terrific keyboards
- media control buttons
- price
- built-in webcam
- thick hinges
- touch-sensitive buttons
- dual headphone ports
- customizability
- lid colors
- USB and FireWire ports
- Video out
And on the other side of the fence (which we shall call That Which Divides the Logical from the Arbitrary), what has not been important?
- Business applications
- Battery life
- Size/shape
- graphics processing
- hard drive capacity
- bundled software
- processor power
- connectivity
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