Archive for May, 2008
Clay Buchholz: Baseball's New Iron Man!
This article says it all, but just in case it doesn’t, here are my two cents: Grow a pair, Clay! I’d ask who you think you are, but I have a pretty good idea. Red Sox put Buchholz on DL By David Ginsburg, AP Sports Writer BALTIMORE — Clay Buchholz was put on the 15-day [...]
TV writer realizes people have DVR, adjusts accordingly
I watch Two and a Half Men. I think it’s funny. Entirely predictable and highly formulaic, but funny. I’m not trying to learn anything when I watch it, or expand my cultural exposure to anything whatsoever. I just like thinly veiled dick jokes on network television. So I was somewhat surprised when I read that [...]
In retrospect, it was a flawed system
You know, you watch a video like this and you can’t believe that this used to be the accepting way of watching movies. And you really can’t believe that you worked at a place like that. Then you remember how your movie collection got to be so big for so cheap, and you stop worrying [...]
"I'm just here for the gasoline."
If Mad Max were around to see this, he would warn us. He would say quietly that if we stop filling our oil reserves, there will be no fuel for military equipment, much less planes to tomorrow-morrow-land, when disaster strikes. But no one would listen. In the post-apocalyptic world of gaslessness, where will our anti-semitic [...]
What happened to Kurt Loder?
Seriously, where IS this guy? Where does MTV put their VJs and other personalities when they reach the ripe old age of 29? Maybe Kurt is hanging out with Tabitha Soren somewhere.
Weren't you in Total Recall, Your Honor?
Get ready for a surprise, your Honor! As a member of the bar, I would rather cede to my Diving Bored colleagues the pleasure of cracking on this member of the bench. I will only point out her Honor’s resemblance to a certain co-star, and alter ego, of his Honor, Governor Schwarzenegger. Let me point [...]
"Hi, I'm a Mac. Where the f*ck am I?"
This just in: Macs are now impervious even to theft! Take that ya PC bitch! Can you do THIS? Can you? WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — A Westchester woman who had her laptop stolen was able to connect to the computer, photograph two suspects and file the photos to police. White Plains Police say they used the [...]
And now I'd like to talk about computers for a bit
I happened across PC World’s Best 10 All-Purpose Laptops, and I have to say, this is truly asinine. Its asininity is multi-tiered. Let’s start macro, and then we’ll break it out down, FJM-style. My very first question, before I even start reading the article, is, “How many laptops aren’t all-purpose?” Are there laptops specifically designed [...]
Look, poor people!
My pal Fast Johnny and I got a new Vaudeville act we’re gonna take on the road in Cleveland, Ohio!! Ready? Tell me what you think! Me: I once knew a guy who was poor. Fast Johnny: HOW POOR WAS HE?? Me: He was SO poor, that he waited in line for 90 minutes in Cleveland for [...]
John Mayer reminds us all why it's fun to be John Mayer
John Mayer’s life does not suck. He’s pretty rich, he’s relatively popular, and from what I can tell, in good health. He’s currently rumored to be dating (nailing) Jennifer Aniston, and he gets special customer service from Apple (for products he probably didn’t have to buy). And I don’t think he’s even released a record [...]