Archive for May, 2008
Indeed
Indeed. When someone says “indeed” what they really mean is “I have no interest in what you are talking about”. I discovered this fact through a college roommate who would use this phrase upon my informing him of; happenings in my life, interesting facts, current events, relationship status, random occurrences from the day, and emergencies. [...]
5 Second Movies
There are a bunch of clips on YouTube where people take their crack at summarizing a movie in 5 seconds. Most of them weren’t very funny, but this one I rather enjoyed: Yeah it can, buddy. Yeah it can.
The Mr. Falcon Fan Club
Remember those halcyon days in cable TV history when USA, TNT, TBS, Comedy Central existed solely to rebroadcast B movies? This was before TBS decided it was “very funny” (read: NBC sit-com syndication) and TNT decided it “knew drama” (read: Law & Order). It predates original programming like Monk, House of Payne, and Saving Grace. [...]
A Family Guy Moment
Peter: Everybody I’ve got bad news. We’ve been cancelled. Lois: Oh no Peter! How could they do that? Peter: Well unfortuantely Lois, there’s just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80′s Show, Wonder [...]
Guess who will never get laid? Yep, 12-year-old David Witthoft
This f*cking kid. Finally took off his stupid f*cking Favre jersey. After FOUR f*cking years.
ESPN The Awkward Headline
I’ve cut way back on my ESPN intake recently. There are a bunch of reasons (e.g. “All I wanna do is race daddy,” “Who’s Now?” and “Jake ‘Daylight Come and I Wanna’ Delhomme”), but that is not the point of this post. Even if I was still a big ESPN junkie, I still wouldn’t approve [...]
DB! Fictionalized Hollywood Story: Danielle Fishel
Today is Danielle Fishel’s birthday, and in her honor we have decided to use only the facts made available on her IMDB bio page to write her biography. Born to a medical equipment sales executive and a stage mom, Danielle Fishel knew that she ultimately had two paths in life. She could sleep in public [...]
Beerpong as sport
Note: I originally wrote this back in October of 2005 while at a terribly boring internship. It has been slightly revised and recreated below. As is the trend among writers recycling material, I have included footnotes to create an entirely new reading experience. If poker and NASCAR are sports, than so too is beerpong/beirut. And [...]
Abracazabka
We here at Diving Bored have something we like to call the Thousand Joke Rule. Essentially, it states (in beautifully written cursive) that when a situation presents itself where you can immediately think of a proverbial 1,000 jokes, you instead make no jokes at all. It’s too easy. So when I read that the Fresno [...]