Esoteric is not a fruit
Dear Mr. Studio Executive
Remember a few years ago when DVDs came out? Good times, right? Apparently we started with Gladiator and started to convert the rest of the vast archives of cinema on a chronological basis. Well guess what? You fucking forgot a few of them. I’m talking about some stellar films like the venerable Speed Zone! and [...]
Johnny 5 arrested at Wall-E Premiere
Los Angeles, CA – It’s been almost twenty years since robot Johnny 5 was seen in a movie theater, but last night at the red carpet premiere of Disney/Pixar’s new animated feature Wall-E , he was seen outside of the El Capitan, drinking heavily, spewing racial epithets, and eventually being dragged away [...]
You kids don’t know how easy you have it
I just got an email from my mother. It’s supposed to be a funny, technology-based update to the “I used to have to walk to school uphill in the snow both ways” speech that our grandparents gave our parents. Unfortunately, the email is already dated, with references to Napster and the original Sony PlayStation.
So, I [...]
Racist MacBooks
At today’s WWDC, rumours are abound that Apple is set to release their newest line of MacBooks. While there has been considerable debate over certain issues…the product line will potentially be as follows:
The Black MacBook
Benefits:
- Bigger processor
- Will run faster
- Costs approximately 3/5 the price of an equivalent white MacBook
Issues:
- Trouble “getting into” certain [...]
Dude, you’re so fake.
Indie bands have been the rage for years, but don’t tell them that - they’re ‘indie’. The original idea behind indie rock was just as the name applies - independent, not of mainstream, not of record label. How many indie bands do you like? None! You don’t know [...]
Signing Off Mid Conversation
Is signing off mid conversation the same as hanging up on someone?
Yes.
TV writer realizes people have DVR, adjusts accordingly
I watch Two and a Half Men. I think it’s funny. Entirely predictable and highly formulaic, but funny. I’m not trying to learn anything when I watch it, or expand my cultural exposure to anything whatsoever. I just like thinly veiled dick jokes on network television.
So I was somewhat surprised when [...]
Possible band names for Ayn Rand’s indie rock group
Adam Smith and the Pure Capitalists
The Fountainheads
Death Cab for John Galt
The Objectivists
Flaming Libertarians
The Killers, in the form of a legally assisted suicide