Correct me if I’m wrong, but is this supposed to be a reference to the flux capacitor, the fictional invention said to make time travel possible, as described in the 1985 film Back to the Future?  If so, what the hell is it doing serving as the headline for an article about the psychological affect of Tiger Woods’s presence on other golfers?  Keep it up ESPN.  Everyone loves it.

“Who does a doctor treat?  …You see the elbow on my jacket?  What’s it doing?”

By Brian Lysaght

May 30 (Bloomberg) — Revelers are planning a final cocktail party on the London Underground tomorrow evening before an alcohol ban takes effect on June 1.

Mayor Boris Johnson announced the ban on May 7, six days after his election, fulfilling a campaign pledge. The new rule will bar alcohol consumption on city buses and trains and is aimed at making traveling safer and more pleasant, Johnson said.

”The Final Circle Line Party” will take place in the rear cars of the 9 p.m. Circle Line train leaving from the clockwise platform at Liverpool Street station. Revelers should bring their own cocktails, said James Darling, 20, a Web site designer helping to organize the event, in an interview yesterday. Similar parties are happening on other lines.

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With the kind of weather that could drive Richard Simmons to depression – one of London’s greatest assets is the drinking culture. Walking down the street with a pint is a beautiful and glorious feeling. The drunken Sunday sprawl of Brick Lane out in Eastie could be the alcoholic’s equivalent to the Sound of Music.

It’s not the worst loss for the Big Smoke, banning open containers on public transport, and at least it results in the most massive underground party since the awkward tribal dance in The Matrix.

Just be careful of setting dangerous precedents fellow Londonists, don’t let a public transport ban become a citywide ban. Meanwhile, see you on the Circle Line.

For your moment of zen, I leave you with the lyrics from…
The Jam – Going Underground

What you see is what you get
You’ve made your bed, you better lie in it
You choose your leaders and place your trust
As their lies wash you down and their promises rust
You’ll see kidney machines replaced by rockets and guns

And the public wants what the public gets
But I dont get what this society wants
I’m going underground, (going underground)
Well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
Going underground, (going underground)

I’ve cut way back on my ESPN intake recently. There are a bunch of reasons (e.g. “All I wanna do is race daddy,” “Who’s Now?” and “Jake ‘Daylight Come and I Wanna’ Delhomme”), but that is not the point of this post. Even if I was still a big ESPN junkie, I still wouldn’t approve of some of their punny headlines. Now, I’m all for puns. Good puns, bad puns, they’re all deeply integrated into my lexicon. But I’m not a major news source or a part of a large corporation, so I don’t have to be careful with my puns. I mean, “Churchill Downer,” really? Why not just put “Why the Long Face?” or “A Horse is A Horse, Of Course, Of Course, Unless Its Eight Belles After the Kentucky Derby.”

This is not ESPN’s first offense, either. They had a double whammy after the BCS title game this year:

Whoops?